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Discussion in 'General Off-Topic Chat' started by Aldoria, Jun 29, 2018.
Me, confident!? What is this blasphemy!?
Same OP. I never had a girlfriend either. My shyness prevents me from doing many things in my life.
i know but tbh i'm kinda depressed and sometimes i just think it would be cool to have someone to talk with
the family doesn't help that much (can't talk with my mom, my dad is super cool but have big problems because of my step mother who is so fuc**** stupid) i control myself to not be sad but sometimes I just explose because I never talk and I know it's hard to say but the family won't really help, I need an escape.
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oh and know i'm thinking that i'm maybe doing this thread because i'm exploding :/
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i feel sad for myself
Kids these days.
Get drunk and then you wont give a damn what anyone thinks and you will not be shy. Do this quite often and eventually you can become an alcoholic with way worse problems than being shy.
But in all seriousness, alcohol is what broke my social barrier.
For most it's just getting to know people. I am still introverted af and I don't approach people. But I think @Aldoria just needs a little push and he should be good. Nothing wrong with being shy, you just need to learn how to work with it and get around it.
I'll let you know what to do when I finally find out how to overcome my anxiety, give me 5-10 years
if I was American I'd say just go get drugs from your doctor, we don't really do it like that in the UK.
Have you started to work yet? I worked at McDonald’s, then bagged groceries at Safeway. It forced me to start talking to strangers. I got really good at talking to girls and got a few numbers. Working forced me to confront my shyness. I didn’t have a girlfriend until I was 19. Now I’m 41, and can chat with anyone. Which can be bad. I worked at this girls house who turned out to be a gamer. She was hella cute, but almost half my age. Im sure my wife wouldn’t approve. Maybe you’re just a late bloomer like me. It’s all good, because, eventually we all get what we need. Keep your head up!
i regret this thread
i think I just needed to talk but now I feel so stupid
i feel sad tonight
got a lot of problems and that is not good
excuse me everyone
It seemed rather constructive to me.
Don’t feel bad and don’t regret this thread. Sometimes I understand something better if I talk it out. I’ll talk to myself from time to time.
the temp is younger than I tought lol
on the other hand, to the date, the closest I have been to a relation ended in a brutal lgtb doxing. but that was at 19.
seriously, look at the 30 yo+ part of the society. everyone worried about love. And you, on the blossom of youth, worring about not love. stop worring and start living, kiddo. If love comes, good, if not, that is a problem of the future you, let the present you enjoy the life
The only way to overcome shyness is to force yourself to do things that are scary and hard, or be forced by something external. If you don't, you'll always be the same, it won't fix itself.
I was a very shy teenager, then I went on exchange to a country I didn't speak the language of for a year, it was traumatising but it "fixed" me, I was a normal sociable teenager afterwards. Not saying you have to do something that extreme. The best thing to do is to go to a counsellor or psychologist who will give you strategies and things to do to help you work up to being less shy without needing to be traumatised out of it. You might also like to make sure you go to a university far from your family and friends, which would be a similar experience to me if you make sure not to hide in your room etc (traumatic but beneficial).
If you don't do anything you'll be exactly the same when you're 30 or 40.
thanks everyone i'm feeling better today yesterday wasn't a great night for me
Meh...it's okay at that age. I was 26 when I had my first girlfriend (in the schools I went to, you could count the girls/women on one hand).
On hindsight, it might seem like a trick, but really: confidence and passion are all that matters. There are courses on the former if that's really a problem...the latter should be easy: put your heart in what you love, and don't be afraid to show that when you're talking to someone.
In real life, you don't "just" get invited to a literature club full of women as a single boy.
EDIT: @others: this is a reference to Doki Doki literature club. It's a dating game that's...erm...well...okay, skip that: it's NOT a dating game.
Don't be so sure!
Sorry, I'm the negative type, but if you don't do anything about it, this situation will not change.
I can confirm. I'm 40 and in the same situation.
I was/still am so shy I can't talk to anyone (men or women), so I understand what you feel. I always fear and never act. Story of my life (fr).But like Slapha said, be sure to work some place where you have to talk and interact with people. And like Quantumcat said, if you don't try hard and force yourself to do scary things, you'll end up like me.
Now the few people I talk too and I feel at ease with, that's always "too late" (married, moving another town, their own life, their own friends, their own family, no more time, etc.).
I don't know how to feel about "late bloomer". I feel more like it's not even worth to try or change at this point. It often feels lonely, but with time you get used to it even more, and more, and... you do less or nothing else.
Act now !
What I can suggest is : try to keep a friends group, and stuck with them. when they do something, go with them even if you don't like that much. be outside, with them. Keep yourself socialized.
Dude, you are only 15, stop stressing over getting in a relationship so early. I am also extremely shy myself, yet I am about to get engaged to my lovely girlfriend. To find a girl, you just need to be yourself and also not treat women like a mysterious creature.
being myself is probably what put me in that situation. not sure "be shy and insecure" is a good advice to meet someone?
"be yourself" is not always the best advice. everyone is different, and sometime "yourself" is the problem.
I think he should try to be different and force himself to act differently. if at 15 he already feels bad for being alone, he should act now.
Of course, not to the point of being someone else. just do things he doesn't like or feel at ease with. small things. call a friend (a friend guy, if he has any) and suggest to see, go to a drink, a park, beach, etc., or accept when someone suggest it.
being outside in place where there are people he will meet others and eventually a girlfriend. I think at 15, you have a lot of possibility, like frequenting other school's group, meeting people from sports or any activity (chess, drawing, painting, etc.)
I forced myself to learn playing an instrument to see more people. didn't help much and I stopped. but I tried.
That always make me laugh when people says they are extremely shy, and yet they are not like me.
I'm shy, I don't talk to anyone, I don't go outside my home (rarely, just to work and buy food), I never met anyone. This is shy.
people telling they are "extremely" shy, and having wives and husbands, fiancées, ex, kids and friends are always funny.
Shy, maybe. extremely, I don't know. what am I if you are "extremely"? Probably "ill shy".
Try to lure them with candy. Works most of the time, just don't leave the white van outside the school cause you'll get in trouble with the Po Po.
But jokes aside, the best way is to tease them and be friendly.
Could't help it. One of my favorite all time movies covers. try online dating.
And OP, lower your standards if you have to